Early marriage

The post I just made reminded me of my early marriage. This year we'll be married 40 years. I struggle now thinking people need to wait until they've got all their "ducks in a row" before they get married. Especially the living together part. I was taught if you obeyed God then God would take care of you. And obeying God meant waiting until you were married to live together. I didn't work the summer before I got married. Gayle called and told me if I would stay home and be with my parents that summer he would pay me whatever I would have made. I think the check turned out to be about $200. Terry had worked at the pool as a life guard I think. Anyway, when we got married we had very little and we were planning on both attending the University of Missouri, KC together in the fall. We had 2 years behind us, me in Elementary Ed and Terry in pre-med. We lost the check from Gayle and had to ask him to write another. Probably threw it away with the gift wrap. I felt so responsible having to call Gayle. Uggh. Our honeymoon was traveling through Yellowstone and the Tetons on our way to Independence. When we got to our first home, a little apartment in the basement of an elderly couple's home ($75 a month - they felt bad when they told us they'd have to raise the rent to $82.50 the 2nd year we lived there) we had a letter waiting to tell us we could have loans and maybe grants too,(not sure)so we could go to school. Then Terry walked up to the hospital that was just a block away and got a job as a respiratory therapist aid. I got a job the next summer working at a rest home also only a few blocks away but I don't think I worked during the school year. We road together each morning to UMKC, about a half hour drive depending on when you left. It was a good time to talk and be together. It wasn't Graceland! It was the 60s and smelling pot on the people around us was just a part of the daily routine. We lived right across the street from Terry's sister, Susie. Terry's parents were in the same town. Susan and Paul had an apartment across town. We'd visit all of them. I thought Susan and Paul were rich because they had these wonderful salads with lots of veggies in them. Growing up at home we'd had only lettuce and maybe a tomato. I struggled with being homesick that first year. Terry said if he'd have had more money he'd have sent me home just so he could live with me. We had a little Volkswagon fastback. When Terry went to buy a car for us (while still at Graceland) he went by himself first and the dealer wouldn't take him seriously. He was frustrated and ended up taking his dad with him the next time. Embarrassing I'm sure. Now I realize how young we must have looked. Every day of school we packed a lunch and then we'd meet at the car and drive to a nearby dairy queen, buy a pop and listen to Paul Harvey as we ate our lunch. Some days we would go to a park or something. But mostly it was the DQ. I hadn't cooked much at home. And what I had cooked was for a large family.
Our early meals were "interesting." I was good at tomato soup and toasted cheese.
We had our struggles like all young couples. I thought he visited his family too much and he watched tv too much. I"m sure he had his complaints too. Though I don't remember what they were! We had some definite pluses. We both liked to go to church and at church we had older couples (probably in their 30s) who seemed to take us under their wings. Charlie and Hazel Brown, Barb and Jerry Wiley, Frog and Barney Barnhart just to name a few. Gil and Linda Martel lived above us and were good to us. We called Montana about once a week and could only talk for 5 minutes. It was just too expensive to talk longer. We went home for Christmas and sometimes for long weekends. Crazy. The country was going crazy with race problems, sit ins and laugh ins but we mostly just lived our lives, enjoyed family and friends. We made lost of memories. I wouldn't change any of it. It was just part of life, learning and growing. Sometimes Terry and I talk about how we wish we'd been better spouses, more loving to each other, better lovers, more wise. But I think we did the best we could at the time. God had a lot of work to do on us and still does 40 years later. I'm most thankful I was taught to love and try to serve God. That philosophy served us well.