Alone

I am driving in the dark.  A winter landscape of white.  A mist of snow, not even enough to use my wipers. I am alone.  I turn off the Christian radio I've been listening to.  I am lonely.  Tired of the struggle that comes with Christmas when you are a person who hates to disappoint.  I've left God out - again.  I did try this year.  I got up early many mornings to pray.  I'm wanting to be a better listener to God.  That part was good.  But after a few days of family I'm finding I'm missing our Relationship.   So I am finally alone. I have nothing to say.  Words seem to be a burden and another interruption.
 I drive quietly.  I want You.  How can I obtain your peace.  Questions fill my mind.  The questions of life.  Of God.  Who are You?  How do You work?  I'm even tired of all that.  I think of the snow, it's wonder.  It's beauty. It's gift.  It's revelation of You.  How You must love me, us all.  You are there.  Nothing else matters.  Just You and I driving.  Questions don't matter.  Peace.  Thank You.

Philadelphia, PA Airport

Some moments are unwritable.  I was returning from a visit to Terra's family in Philadelphia.  I was in the airport, walking toward my gate, people, hundreds, were passing me.  That's when the "moment" happened but to call in a moment was not accurate because time itself suddenly stopped.
No one was moving.  My mind froze them all.  It was really a gift from a loving Creator.  I was able to see them, each of them.  I was able to KNOW that they were each loved,  deeply, unconditionally.  ALL OF THEM.  Do you know how many different looking and acting people there are in an airport?  I saw them and I loved them.   It sounds strange even to me.  In that moment without time I was allowed to know just a little bit I suppose of what God must see.  How God must love.  I wish I could live in that timeless moment.  Maybe I will in heaven.

Messy, Noisy, Full of Love

I've got to start writing again.  For the last 3 months we've been blessed to have Terra, Zach and their 6 children living in their home.  They came in early July thinking it might take a few weeks for them to find a place to practice his dentistry and a new home to live in.  It's now Oct 7th and they are still here.  Zach is finally working in Twin Falls where they will move.  He started Oct 1.  So for all that time they have been with us.  A home once quiet and as orderly as any house could be for me has become full, messy, noisy and filled with love.  It is, of course, another of God's miracles.  After a few weeks I asked Terry how he was doing. (full, messy and noisy are usually not his thing AT ALL).  His reply, "I love it," shocked me.  After a few weeks I would ask again, His answer, "It's an opportunity.  We've been away from them for so long."  So I began to settle in - we all did.  I know it's been hard on them not having their own home, friends, school, privacy.  It will be Nov 15 before they leave to permanently live in Twin Falls.  Many times in the past few months I have thought it's how it should be, people in extended families living together, older ones helping overworked parents, receiving hugs galore, listening, caring.  Oh how we will miss them when they leave!  I know Terra and Zach pray over our situation.  They pray we will all have the strength for it, the patience for it.  I pray the same.  This God we both serve in our own ways, our own religions, hears and answers. And I believe smiles and approves the love we all share together. Thank you sweet and precious Trinity.
God's will be done.  Holy Spirit touching and blessing.  In the Sweet name of Jesus. Amen