From Gayle I would steal his ability to see what needs done and do it, as in GET IT DONE! The number of things he has accomplished in his lifetime is phenominal! In Whitehall he has caused at least 4 homes to be built with Habitat For Humanity; got the library built and rebuilt; caused a skateboard park to be built; built many houses and buildings for his own and the benefit of others like his racketball court, storage building, rental properties, barns, 2 assisted living places; ranch barns and buildings, probably other things I don't know of. He served on the school board, standing up for some major changes despite it costing him 1/3 of his business at the time. He raised a wonderful family and is tender and loving to his wife. He's a great grandfather. I'm sure I'm missing alot. As I write this I am thinking that I don't love him because of all these things. Here's why I love him:
When I was little he was the one my siblings and I looked to. He was the first one we knew who went to college, married a church girl (and a lovely one at that), lead us spiritually, encouraged us to improve our lives, marry the right people, go to college, get good grades. Others tried to do that but he showed us the way. Because of he and Kathryn we saw a path we could follow and do well. When he had kids I loved the way he was gentle, firm and consistent with them. I loved the way he and Kathryn were directional. They knew what was right and they used discipline and perserverence to get there.
I love the way he has always been there for me. I'm always intimidated by him and yet when I need support I know I can count on him. He has a way of making me believe I can do better. Like one time we were moving bales and I told him I had trouble with my back. He said, "I decided I didn't want to have a bad back so I just started to take care of it and not baby it." When he said that I knew I wasn't being completely honest with myself and that I could do better. So I began to exercise my back and to eat less and try to take care of it.
I am also remembering times when I went to him when I was struggling with my family or with depression or with health concerns. While he comes off as kind of hard hearted on the surface, I never once went to him when he didn't take time to sit and listen and give me loving and kind, yet direct and honest advise.
I have not always agreed with him. I sometimes think he is inappropriate. But there are few people in my life who have impacted my life in such profound ways.
From him I would take his ability to be honest, firm, loving, kind, directional, and faithful. I love him deeply. I look to him for strength, wisdom and support.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
stealing continued
I would steal from Terry his gift of making quick decisions, sticking with them and not feeling guilty when he is wrong. His whole family is that way. They make great referees, nurses, er workers, leaders of games, etc. Though I would like that quality for myself, (especially when ordering at a restraunt), I don't always like it in them. It's very hard for Terry, for example, when the Sacry family is trying to make a decision about where to go or where to eat. We're team players and we don't mind listening to each other and being patient about the process. Terry just wants to make a decision and go! When I love that quality in him is when a decision does have to be made fast. It sure makes my life simpler sometimes. Other times it makes me mad, like when I'm deciding where to park and he wants to tell me what to do. Sometimes I hide behind that good quality in him so I don't have to make a decision and be held responsible for it. Like most good qualities, the flip side of the coin is not so easy sometimes. So I will try to steal just enough. That is, if he will let go of some of his!
Stealing
I read once that all the commandments could be summed up in one. Thou shalt not steal. For example, adultery is stealing someone's spouse. Coveting is stealing one's peace or wanting what is not yours. But there is one way that stealing is good. It's not really stealing, I suppose but I've been thinking about it. Like, I wish I could steal certain things from each person.
For example, Mom. I would like to steal from her the ability to laugh. I'm working on it but it's not so much my nature. I got the Sacry worry part instead. On the nature/nurture thing I think Mom by nature got the laugh part. Have you ever been around the Pyfers, Clarks, etc. They have the best humor! And maybe Mom drew on that to laugh in the middle of the most difficult parts of her life. She always chose authors who she could laugh with like Patsy Clairmont, Barbara Johnson and Erma Bombeck. But she found humor in even the books I though were so serious. Like when Mom and I were traveling back from Oregon visiting Amber and we read, "The Kite Runner" to each other. Sometimes she would laugh so hard and I'd think, "That's downright sick!" I could not see the humor in it. Once when I went to see a counselor he told me I needed to find the humor in Dad's drinking. I just stared at him. I know he was right and I'm still trying.
People loved to be with Mom because of her humor. I wonder if I ever left her house without having had a good laugh? Debbie and Terra both have written about how they got the gift of laughing at themselves from Mom. She surely was good at that.
And nothing was more fun than when Mom got what Terry and I called Nonie's giggle.
She would laugh so hard she cried and if you were with her you would laugh more at her laugh than at the thing she was laughing at. I think her granddaughters got he best deal with Mom's laughing. They loved to laugh with her. Times like when Mom accidently pulled a loose hair out of a waitress thinking it wasn't hooked on.
And Mom could make me laugh at her. Once in church I was presiding in front and Mom thought we were supposed to stand for a hymn. So she did, all alone. Noticing she was the only one standing she slowly lowered herself to the chair. It struck me so funny that I hid behind the hymn book, shoulders shaking until I realized I would have to leave the room to get control of myself. I went to another room, laughed out loud for awhile and then came back in to finish presiding. It seems with Mom there is always something to laugh about. I love to be with my siblings because laughter is always a part of those times. It's a part of my heritage that I definitely want to steal. If you read this blog and can remember a funny time with Mom, share it. I know she'll be laughing with us.
For example, Mom. I would like to steal from her the ability to laugh. I'm working on it but it's not so much my nature. I got the Sacry worry part instead. On the nature/nurture thing I think Mom by nature got the laugh part. Have you ever been around the Pyfers, Clarks, etc. They have the best humor! And maybe Mom drew on that to laugh in the middle of the most difficult parts of her life. She always chose authors who she could laugh with like Patsy Clairmont, Barbara Johnson and Erma Bombeck. But she found humor in even the books I though were so serious. Like when Mom and I were traveling back from Oregon visiting Amber and we read, "The Kite Runner" to each other. Sometimes she would laugh so hard and I'd think, "That's downright sick!" I could not see the humor in it. Once when I went to see a counselor he told me I needed to find the humor in Dad's drinking. I just stared at him. I know he was right and I'm still trying.
People loved to be with Mom because of her humor. I wonder if I ever left her house without having had a good laugh? Debbie and Terra both have written about how they got the gift of laughing at themselves from Mom. She surely was good at that.
And nothing was more fun than when Mom got what Terry and I called Nonie's giggle.
She would laugh so hard she cried and if you were with her you would laugh more at her laugh than at the thing she was laughing at. I think her granddaughters got he best deal with Mom's laughing. They loved to laugh with her. Times like when Mom accidently pulled a loose hair out of a waitress thinking it wasn't hooked on.
And Mom could make me laugh at her. Once in church I was presiding in front and Mom thought we were supposed to stand for a hymn. So she did, all alone. Noticing she was the only one standing she slowly lowered herself to the chair. It struck me so funny that I hid behind the hymn book, shoulders shaking until I realized I would have to leave the room to get control of myself. I went to another room, laughed out loud for awhile and then came back in to finish presiding. It seems with Mom there is always something to laugh about. I love to be with my siblings because laughter is always a part of those times. It's a part of my heritage that I definitely want to steal. If you read this blog and can remember a funny time with Mom, share it. I know she'll be laughing with us.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Jamie and Mom
Today is Jamie's 28th birthday! I got to fix him and his family breakfast and sing "Happy Birthday" to him with them. I told him it was cool that not only was he a fun kid to raise but he created a child who is just like him. Michael has so many of Jamie's qualities. He's sensitive, caring, relational, funny, smart, serious, interested in many things with a good memory, direct, without guile, honest and loving. Both of them brighten up the room when they enter.
When Jamie was in grade school he took violin lessons in Bozeman. Sometimes Mom helped me out by taking him to practice. One time I was at home and Jamie came storming into the house with Mom following. They were arguing in a light hearted , yet intense way only they could argue. Jamie went immediately to the encyclopedias. The arguement: Do snakes have bones?! From that day forward it was a constant joke with them. The arguement continued whenever they got together. It was something they could laugh about and tease each other about. I used to give Mom a bad time because when Jamie was a senior we left him with Mom while we went somewhere for a week. When we came home he had a tatoo and his ear pierced. By that time I knew Mom thought such activities were trivial. And, for me, the relationship they had with each other was more important than the fuss going up against him would cause. They enjoyed a special relationship that was a blessing to them and to me. Someone once told me, "I felt loved when someone loved my child."
I would add, "I felt blessed when my child loved my Mother."
When Jamie was in grade school he took violin lessons in Bozeman. Sometimes Mom helped me out by taking him to practice. One time I was at home and Jamie came storming into the house with Mom following. They were arguing in a light hearted , yet intense way only they could argue. Jamie went immediately to the encyclopedias. The arguement: Do snakes have bones?! From that day forward it was a constant joke with them. The arguement continued whenever they got together. It was something they could laugh about and tease each other about. I used to give Mom a bad time because when Jamie was a senior we left him with Mom while we went somewhere for a week. When we came home he had a tatoo and his ear pierced. By that time I knew Mom thought such activities were trivial. And, for me, the relationship they had with each other was more important than the fuss going up against him would cause. They enjoyed a special relationship that was a blessing to them and to me. Someone once told me, "I felt loved when someone loved my child."
I would add, "I felt blessed when my child loved my Mother."
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