Loved

Struggling with my faith. In fact, seeming to have none. Believing sometimes that God is not involved and when God is, He sits in judgement of me because I'm not too good at obedience. Finding myself empty and wanting to be more obedient but discouraged. I decide to memorize some scripture. The one I chose would help me with obedience:

As for mortals, their days are like grass.
They flourish like a flower in the field;
For the wind passes over it and it is gone,
and it's place remembers it no more.
But the steadfast love of the Lord is from
everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him.
And his righteousness to children's children.
To those who keep his covenant
And remember to do his commandments. Psalms 103:15-18

Driving down the road, working on the verse I come to the part,
"and it's place remembers it no more."
And suddenly I remember.
Another time when I was discouraged. Walking into
the dark morning of my living room. I see lights in the valley.
I realize that our home is also one of those lights.
And that someday, someone else will own our light, and
we will be gone from this earth.
I ask (not expecting an answer), "What is my value? If I
am here today and then gone. What difference does it all make?"
More clearly than any words I have ever received,
"Your only value is in the love I have for you."
Both then and now. I realized I was not valued because of all the
things I do. Like the value of a child in the eyes of her/his parents,
I am simply loved because I am God's child.
I feel hope like I have not felt in a very long time.
I remember that I obey because I am loved, not loved because I obey.
Today, I feel like singing, praising. Thank you, God.