Driving the car

When I was an early teen my Grandma Cora always let me drive when we went anywhere together. I didn't have my license. One day, going over the cattle guard, out the front gate from the Ranch I got too close to the right side of the gate and took off the strip from her car. I frieked! I felt so bad! She acted like nothing had happened, "That's ok, don't worry about it," She calmly said. It was the last I heard about it.
It's the middle of the night and I can't sleep. I had 3 cups of caffeine today. When I am awake in the night I pray God will help me not drink caffeine, but, yesterday, I was driving to the little place where they make wonderful Vanilla Chai.
I wanted that Chai. I could just taste it and reasoned that I allow myself one cup a week. I thought about prayer as a way to not drink it but I didn't allow that thought to stay. In fact, I hardened my mind against thoughts of even checking in with God. I did not want Intervention at that moment!
This morning as I started to pray again about my caffeine enjoyment, I couldn't because I knew I would just do it again. I talked to God about how I could listen better to God's leadings. And I remembered something I had heard from Apostle Sukini years ago. He was from Japan and had many thoughts on mind control. He told us we should be, as Christians, like when we first learn to drive a car. You know how, as you know how to drive well you go on automatic? Sometimes you can drive through town with thoughts other places and don't even remember the trip? But as a new driver, your attention is always riveted right on the road. That's what our goal should be toward God. To keep our attention always on God's will. To constantly be drawing on the Holy Spirit for guidance, assurance, grace, understanding, and, yes, for help in resisting temptation.
And even though God is like Grandma and forgives us instantly and completely, I want to have integrity in my prayer life, doing my part to make it happen.