Priorities

One of the most important values my Mother taught me was having good priorities. This a.m. I am thinking about those lesson times. The first was rocking. I find it quite incredible to realize my Mom rocked 9 children to sleep. In spite of what the popular book, "Baby Wise" advises (yes, I do see the advantages of putting a child down and letting he/she learn to go to sleep on his/her own) I'm deeply thankful that rocking was Mom's priority. I chose to go that route myself. Rocking my children helped me set aside time just for them, was restful for me and gave me time to sing to them and to think about the important things of life. Kathryn told me sometimes she would hold her children tightly until they submitted to her desire for them to be rocked. They did not want to be rocked sometimes but she insisted. That beginning "discipline" made other times of submission more easy. Early on they learned that submitting to their parents, in the end, was a blessing.
When Matt was only weeks old he would nurse for a half hour every 2 hours. It was about all I found time for! One day I called Mom, so frustrated. Rather than sympathy, she said, "What do you have to do that's any more important than holding Matt?" My feeble words about cleaning my house fell on deaf ears. Now, when I would love to just sit and hold Matt, or just visit with him more often, I can see the wisdom in her advise.
The Mothers I most admire have that same priority: relationships before housework.
When Mom sold Avon and went around to homes she told me the best Mothers on the route always had clean laundry to be folded on their couch. (I bet she sat and folded it for them while they talked!)
When I lived away somewhere I called Mom and she and Rand had gone on a picnic together. She still had children at home and she and Rand went, just the 2 of them.
I can't imagine regretting that one.
Mom had pre-school, elementary children, teens and grandchildren all at the same time. Yet she always found time to help a kid(s) make a batch of cookies. And I don't remember a time when she wouldn't stop everything to play cards with kids of all ages.
I realize as I write that Mom's highest priority was always children.
Yesterday I was feeling kind of achy and tired and not too excited about the yard work I had to do. I thought I might be coming down with something. Then the phone rang and it was Spencer wanting to tell me about the tea he had at his preschool for "just me and Mom." Suddenly I was bubbling over with enthusiasm and joy! Just talking to him made my day.
Everyone has different priorities. Mom's weren't always good, I suppose. But I loved hers most of the time. If life seemed just too crazy I could walk into her house and seem to know what was the right thing to do. To be with her was like a magic computer that you could put all your information into and it would feed out just the right priority.
Ken reminds me that we still have Mom. She's inside us, maybe even watching us. I know, Ken, but this morning I wish I could walk through her door, accept her warm hug, sit and visit and come away knowing what really mattered most in life.
Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I miss you.