THE GIFT OF TERRY

So, today we have been married 39 years. What I love about marriage is that even after 39 years we are still learning about each other. We are always reading books on marriage and about a year and a half ago when we went on a trip together and read to each other, The Five Love Languages. The five languages are: gift giving, presence, acts of service, words of affirmation and physical touch. During that time we realized that gift-giving is definitely Terry's and definitely not mine. So, for years, Terry has been giving gifts to me because that is his love language and I have said things like, "Oh, that's nice." or "Gee..." And, of course, that has been disappointing to him. Since that trip together, we have saved alot of money! And I am trying to remember, what I've always realized, that he loves me to give him gifts! It is not easy to believe and I have to force myself to use them as an expression of love. My love language is words of affirmation. I am an affirmation junkee. Terry is a faster learner and he tells me, at least once a day things like, "You are so beautiful," or "I am so blessed to be married to you," or "You have a great body!"
We are both a bit embarassed about our love language. I tell myself, intellectually, that it's pretty immature to need to be told so often that you are wonderful. And Terry feels like it's so small to want gifts or to feel bad when someone doesn't give you a gift on your birthday. But we are both thrilled when our love language is used. When our grandkids were going to all be home we talked about what their love language might be. We knew Kate's was not gifts since she has been known to say, "No thank you. I have enough toys." We know Michael loves to get gifts but he also likes presence (focused attention). We know Spencer loves physical touch. We are still working on learning these.
I also know about myself that I tend to give attention to my grandkids and ignore Terry. But today is our anniversary. And, even though his love language is not words of affirmation, mine is and I need to say some things I love so much about my husband.
I asked God, as a child, to let me marry a doctor or a seventy. God gave me both.
God knew I needed to feel secure in my marriage so God gave me someone who adores me and has 100% commitment to our relationship. He puts me first.
God knew I needed gentleness and Terry has become a very gentle person.
Terry is a rare man who will read books with me, go to counseling, listen to me without trying to fix me, go to "chic flicks", learn and change and work hard at being a good and loving husband. When I tell him something that is bothering me, he tries so hard to change and he is a fast learner.
He supports me financially in the way I have become accustomed. He does it with a job he loves and in a way that has caused me to have a great deal of respect for him.
His first love is not me but God. I am blessed to be able to serve with him. He has become someone whose opinion I respect and whose service I admire.
He works hard to become a good grandfather and father. He is willing to read and learn and grow.
He is a hard worker. He is a great lover. He is a sacrificial person. He is humble. He is clean and neat.
So today, I feel so thankful. I believe God brought him to me so many years ago when I was too immature and unwise to know what I would need. And God has been at work changing us both to become the "old folks" we are today!