My Day

Every day is a surprise.  This morning I sat on my couch and watched the sun rise.  It was incredible.  I wondered how a totally light sky could contain a section that was so dark.  Terry and I had devotions together as I got frustrated about my new Windows 8 not working they old way and letting us listen to "Pray-as-you-go."  After a nap we walked our property in the snow with our dogs.  Beautiful.  After taking stuff to the dump I took Michael to his art lesson in Butte.  He is truly a wonderful boy. So sincere, loving, passionate, polite, sensitive.  Among other things he said, "Oma, why do some people change their names?"  And after some discussion, "I think it's just disrespectful to their parents who must have really liked that name."  He gave me joy all the way coming and going.
After I dropped him off I was driving in the dark on our two way road when I saw a deer a car ahead of me.  I think the car hit it but it went on.  It was sitting there on the road, trying unsuccessfully to get up.  It tore my heart to see it try and realized it would not be able to.  I pulled over as did others behind me.  I approached the deer timidly at first, wondering if she would fight me.  I spoke tenderly and pulled her by the legs to just off the road.  She just kept looking at me seemingly not afraid at all.  When I got her off the road I began to stroke her head.  She and I just looked into each others' eyes.  I realized I was crying and I could hardly bear to think of her in pain. She was so lovely, pure and sweet.  People started passing us and I was aware that my lights were not flashing.  Getting up, I went to my car but couldn't remember how to work the flashers.  Someone called my name - it was Pam Smith, a friend.  She told me she would put her flashers on and call the police to come and take care of the deer.  We hugged and cried.  I went back to the deer and pet her again.  Then I got into the car and drove away.  I could not stop my sobbing.  After checking things at home I left for pizza church. I couldn't stop crying so I came back home.  Pam called me.  After I left a car came by and startled the deer.  She jumped up on her 3 legs - the other not working and ran down the bank.  When the police came, she just stared from her spot down the embankment.  They decided to let her go.  That would not have been my choice.  I think of her now, somewhere bleeding, hurting and I cry. 
I remember another time when I had come home from college.  Diane was a preschooler and Kerry and Brian had rabbits.  Diane undid the latch and they got out.  The dogs got to them and I sat and watched them struggle to die.  I cried and cried.  Mom came out, sat beside me and said, "Carol Ann, you have to get tough.  Life will be too hard if you don't."  Well, Mom, I guess I didn't listen too well.  I'm not sorry.  I hope I never stop seeing someone hurting and feel for them, even a Mama deer with big lovely eyes.
I went to a ministerial alliance tribute to volunteers and listened to Terry give a talk.  I felt closer to people than I have for awhile.  Tender toward their difficulties. It was a day I will always treasure and remember.