The Very Life of Life

I woke this morning to the feel of your kiss on my cheek when you left for your men's group. I lay still to enjoy it's memory. A part of our routine. The kiss, then you lock the door and leave. I laid there and thought about those kind of habits...packing a lunch and meeting at Dairy Queen at noon during our school years, listening to Paul Harvey New and Comments; walking hand in hand, praying before a meal holding hands around the table; on your shoulder at bedtime, then flipping to a spoon to sleep; the "done" prayer before sleep; reading mail together at lunch; switching positions at the sink as we brush our teeth; leaving you notes;you sending me flowers; reading to you as we drive; greeting you at the door with an 8 second kiss; working together outside; going to church together early to set up, no words, just listening and preparing; watching NCIS; calling the kids; devotions at noon; making the bed together if we're both home; watching the animals; Zip's good night hug under your chin...I don't know who wrote, "Look to this day for it is life, the very life of life."

First Love

I am doing "the Love Dare." Today the message is about unconditional love. I wish every married couple would read it. And live it. I didn't at first. It took Terry to start it. Several years ago he watched one of the videos we ask our couples to read when we work with them in marriage prep. It was on making a decision to honor your spouse. The man in the video said his wife was miserable in their marriage and when he asked her why he said it was because he put everything in his life ahead of her. That video impacted Terry greatly and he made a decision that day to honor me for the rest of our lives. Each day he would ask himself how he could honor me. Obviously he did not remember that every day. It was not easy. At first I didn't realize he was doing it. But soon I began to feel the blessing. And it made me want to respond. It made loving him easy.
Sometimes, when Terry and I will have a spat in public someone will say something like, "Hey, I thought you were the "marriage enrichment people." It surprises me. We do marriage enrichment because, like every couple, we need it. We want our marriage to be good. We work at it every day.
This morning when I was reading the Love Dare I found myself wondering if I would be able to love Terry if he had not made that commitment so long ago. A part of me wanted to find out. But, the very sensible part of me said an almost outloud, "NO!" I love being married to a man who is committed to not only staying married to me but making our relationship special. It is one of the greatest blessings of my life. It challenges me to be better. Thanks Ter. You are truly a man I admire, respect and love.

 

Our hotel,

 

Have to have my feet in

 

Marriage

In light of the fact that my computer refuses to let me upload pictures lately and because looking at the eclipse in the middle of the night (what a magnificant sky!)has brought to my mind so much joy and I can't quite go back to sleep, my mind has turned to the high concept of the sacrament of marriage. My friend and our mission center pres says that every sacrament is an act of repentance. In other words, a turning from one way of life to another. In the case of marriage it is turning from focusing on living mostly for myself to deciding to live for the sake of someone else. For example, choosing to sacrifice my wants and desires each day, to considering what is best for my spouse too. Of course, there are many who choose not to make that covenant in a marriage ceremony and some do quite well. But I like the ceremony because, like other sacraments, it is an outward sign of an inward commitment. The ceremony itself is a time of community. It is a time, when those who come can enter, if they choose, into covenant, also. For the sake of the couple and the community, those who come (and those who don't but commit in spite of their inability to attend) can make a commitment also, to support and uphold the couple in their new covenant. It is true, I think, that a couple would find it very hard to remain together without the help of community. When the couple is struggling, the community can either say, "Oh, well, it's not that important anyway. Find someone else who is easier, cuter, whatever." or they can say, "You made a commitment. Stick to it. In fact, we will help you if we can. We think your relationship is important."(or some such words) Or, without words we can just make an inward commitment to support and uplift marriages. One lady we knew years ago continues to send a card to us every anniversary.
And the couple can commit to the good of the community as well. In the sacrament they can say, "We not only commit to our own union, but to the union that is for the good of you, as a community. Our covenant will strengthen the community and we want to do that." Very early in our marriage we heard a man speak of marriage. He said the purpose of marriage is to glorify God. Of course, that is the purpose of all of life so that made such sense to me. It took me out of myself and let me see that if I made more effort in my marriage God would be glorified through it and the community would be enriched. I have not always done that but it is a good goal.
When you've just been looking into a beautiful night sky, you can believe all things are possible.