I wrote this before Dad died. I thought I might read it at his funeral but it didn't seem right. But I want to include it in my blog.
My Dad has been my greatest teacher. Today I thank God for him.
What did he teach me?
From
Dad I learned that people are not good or bad.
People are just people who do good and bad things because of their own
life experiences. People do bad because
of their own insecurities or sometimes their ignorance or self centeredness or
any number of reasons. People do good
for many reasons. Sometimes because they
need praise. Sometimes because they want
to go to heaven (which in my opinion is the worst reason to do good). Sometimes because they have had so many
blessings they can’t do anything else.
When I’ve done good it’s because I ‘ve had the peace of Jesus Christ
inside me and doing good just results.
From
Dad I learned that the deeper you know a person the easier it is to love
them. You can’t stop half way in the
knowing because then sometimes you don’t get to the love thing.
From
Dad I learned that life is hard but forgiveness makes it easier.
From
Dad I learned that kindness is very important.
He is very kind. But even very
kind people do very unkind things.
From
Dad I learned not to be a respecter of persons.
I learned that because he chose to care about some people who were the
most difficult people I know. And he
chose to cast off people who were very good
because they were fat or black.
By the time he died he’d learned that he could vote for a black
president and hug very fat women.
From
Dad I learned that people change. I
learned to not hold people to their sins.
To use new eyes and give people a chance.
From
Dad I learned to be tough. To be proud
of yourself. That there is a pride that
adds to life.
From
Dad I learned that selfishness hurts.
Because
of Dad I learned about Grace.
There
have been times in my life that I prayed he would die so I wouldn’t have to
deal with him. I thought my life would
be better without him. And now I think I
won’t be able to stand it when I can’t stop by and give him a kiss and a
hug. I look into his eyes and I see one
thing: love. I see the man who adored me
as a baby, delighted in me as a toddler, held me when I cried, defended me as a
teen, watched me cheerlead, sacrificed for me so I could eat and have a roof
over my head and have gifts at Christmas and birthdays. I see a man who was weak when it came to
alcohol and women. I see a man who was
physically strong and tender hearted. A
man who lived with guilt and shame. He
does not feel worthy of the love bestowed upon him. I see his faults as I see my own. I know him like a child knows her
father. And I love him deeply.
